Wow, it seems as though its been quite a long time I didn’t really put down my thoughts in my blog.
I use to always tell out whatever feelings I have in here, especially when I’m sad.
I didn’t talk bout my feelings for quite some time, does that mean I’m not sad? I don’t really know.
I’ve been thinking of typing my feelings, but these days, I don’t know what stop me from doing it.
Today, my friend just told me that I’m so lazy to blog, only dump in pictures. Haha..
I admit I’m kinda lazy to blog these days, just pictures and that’s it.
This two weeks is just so unpredictable.
I know the truth quite well, but I just don’t wanna accept it.
I don’t wanna accept the fact that it is actually zero. ZERO!
I asked again and again, wishing that the answer is different.
Why do I still want to lie to myself at this very moment? Sometimes, being a optimistic person is not that good after all. Good things always don’t come my way. I don’t know.
However, after waking up this morning, I start to put some sense into myself.
I wake up and I feel nothing. I asked myself why don’t I feel sad when last night I keep crying.
I can’t find the answer till my friend told me that is because I already let go apart of it without myself realising it. My heart still hurts when I think about it. I constantly blame myself over this.
I wish I can turn back time. I guess everybody wish. I have to keep reminding myself, whats done is done. All I can do is learn from my mistake. But hell, the price for this mistake is just so big, I almost couldn’t afford it. Compare to before, I am much better although not fully recover. I think I’ll be alright after few more months. I’ve let go apart of it, I just have to work harder and let go the other half.
I wanna smile like this every time and be happy. I wish I could.
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