Archive for December, 2009

Dec 20

Dear mom,

why are you always picking on me?
you’re always picking about something. something about me.
why me ?

do you really hate me that much?
you constantly compare me with my cousin sisters, why is that so?
is there really nothing about me for you to be proud of?
i live my own life, you don’t expect me to follow everything you want me to be.

you just have to accept the fact that your daughter, ME is not an A-student.
nor am I a daughter who wakes at 8am, sleeps at 10pm.
work 6 days a week or whatsoever.
Sorry to disappoint you, i really am not that kind of person.

same goes to you.
i just have to accept that you will never give me allowance anymore and seriously, i accepted all the shits from you long ago.
i know you like to pick on me, well fine i try to keep quiet. i tolerate.
but can you please tolerate with me too.

can you like please. PLEASE stop comparing me with anybody else.
if you cant become the mother i wish to have, don’t force me to become a daughter that i cant be.
do you know how much i envy some girls, who can go shopping with their mom. who can laugh and talk.
where the mom will give hugs and kisses.
i know you aren’t like that, which is also why i never force you to be one.

i’m not that bad, am i?
i did not smoke, i did not do drugs, and i can’t even drink.
all i do is go out with my friends because they make me laugh, they make me happy.
there’s a reason why i never like to stay at home.
every time you saw me, you find faults in what i did or what i did not do.

mom, i’m a human.
human make mistakes and sometimes all i did is i forgot to take my hanging clothes from the bathroom.
i forgot, not that i don’t want to.

why can you forgot to turn off the gas stove and i cant forgot about things?
you cant blame me for loving dad more .he never compare me with anyone, he never said any harsh words like you did.
i’m the best for him but yet, for you i’m the worst.

i don’t know what kind of a person i am to you. never dare to ask anyway.
you might think that i’m those happy go lucky girl who never gives a shit about anything, who only knows how to go out and hang out with friends, do shits with friends and whatnot.
im an emo girl, i doubt if you even know that.
i cry a lot and most of the time, i can turn to no one but friends. i doubt if you know that too.

you always seems like you dislike me a lot.
i sometimes wonder, will you be a tad bit happier if i’m gone.
i remember you once said, take a bigger knife and cut yourself, small ones cant kill you..
i remember it till this very day. i remember every single shit you say to me.

it’s like, i wanted to say good morning to you.
but sometimes, i don’t even feel like talking to you anymore.
i guess you’ve no idea how much hurt you bring to me.

and you know what, i have the urge to show this to your bf so he can let you know, how exactly i am feeling.
i’ll never say all this straight to your face, i’ll probably cry till i cant say a single word.

and i too remember, you said.. i cry because i want people to sympathize me.
no mom, that is because i cant control my tears.
i don’t need anyone’s sympathy.

3
comments

Posted in :'(, deep-thoughts *hmm*, emo-emo *hurhur*

Dec 16

10 days before xmas ..

shit. i’m getting that christmassy feeling. :*D

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This is so pretty! Ain’t it. (:
Gonna prepare for xmas real soon.

i’m still coughing and it tends to get real terrible during night time.
worst is that i’m suppose to go singk tomorrow. damn. ):

ouh before i forgot.
a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Aaron Chung Kah Leong the Brucey. (:
(told ya i’m gonna wish you again and again, lol )

nights people.

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Posted in pictars *chikchak*, ramblings *blabla*

Dec 15

It’s snowing …

bwahahaa :’P
xmas is commmmiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggg !!

therefore i decorated my blog. (:
and now my blog is snowing. ((:
the snow is soft and subtle, not gonna annoy the crap out of you when you read my post. heh..

looking forward to xmas yet at the same time, i fear…
fear of xmas for the first time in my life.
cause last year’s xmas still haunts me somehow .
i’m afraid that i have to go through the same xmas again, though i hope not.

no! i don’t want last year’s xmas to repeat, wtf.
but i guess it wont quite repeat itself again cause the cheras clan is organizing another party. (:

yours truly isn’t feeling quite well now.
having serious sore throat. yes, again! thank you, wtf.
might be the weather. it’s crazy.
hot like hell. rain. hot like hell. rain. hot like hell. rain. yada yada yada. damn!
and ouh, i guess my super-late-night early-in-the-morning sleep contributes to the not-feeling-quite-well too.

yah, serve me right. pffffft.
alright, off to bed now.
5.40 am. good job, wtf.

something is wrong with me. !
nights world.

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Posted in :\, ramblings *blabla*

Dec 14

healthy lifestyle .no more

Howdy peeps! (:
No more so call healthy lifestyle for me .
I don’t have to go to bed early cause I’m not working so……. :X

Add on top of that, Thomas is back from Perth which means it’s time to hit the club.
I know larh, it’s just another excuse but I don’t care. pfft.
So Mike asked us to Poppy, a place we used to club together before Thom left but……….
I stop going there since September and gosh, it sucks so bad now.
Full with seafoods and ‘neighborhood hoe’ .It’s like the girls took off their tops and everything.
I know you guys like it, wth. *terbalik kereta* -__-’
And I’m not sure if they changed their deejay as well, cause the music sucks max too.
Bleh.

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* I know we look kinda topless. :X

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* Thom keeps doing that thing where he moves his tongue between the fingers and when we asked what is that suppose to mean, he said google it. Now you tell me, wth is that?

Like what Ee said, Poppy is full with memories but memories also no use larh now, too many neighborhood hoe, wtf.

Went to Sanctuary on Thursday for some deejay competition thingy.
The deejay which I like did not win, boooo. I forgot his name, lol.

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* Free Heineken and I just took a few sips as usual. I kinda dislike beer.

*big grin* :X
Mike asked, ‘apa buat, ada free ka’ on Saturday and there we go talking in Malay, lol.
So I answerd ‘kenapa? mau ajak aku ke?’..
And he replied, ‘pergi masa depan’……………..

I stone for a second. Masa depan?
Ouh Phuture, wtf man. Laugh die me, bwahahaha.

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* While waiting for the others to arrive.

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* Me likey this picture. :3

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* Mike kacau.

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* Why is she stoning? -___-’

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* Every time I ‘ying shiong’ with this guy, I don’t look good wth. But this one oklarh, like finally a ‘good’ one.

I’ve been sleeping real late everyday.
Not good, not good at all. :\
And that day me and my gang watched Paranormal Activity, effing scary can die.

^#@&^&$$*(&)*)!@%!$@%!@!*@)!*&)@*&!&!!!!!!

I did not turn off the light when I sleep. damn.
Google it if you don’t know what movie is that.
And it’s gonna be in the cinema next year January. Watch it people. Watch it.

Go pay and scare the shit out of yourself.
That’s what dumb people do. Like me. LOL. :X

3
comments

Posted in :D, night life *aherm*, pictars *chikchak*

Dec 11

there’s something about songs …

…they never fail to remind me of people and moments.

different song reminds me of different people.
this particular song reminds me of you.

i never listen to this song since …
i dare not. because i’m sure i will be upset.

but the song just played, randomly.
cause i turned the shuffle on.

was blank for a moment.
and the past came flashing back as the song fill my ears.
this very song that once make me feel so loved . that never fail to make me smile whenever i listen to it.

but now…
my heart sank when the song played.
that’s not a very happy song by the way.

reminds me so so much of you.
and to be frank i really miss you a lot. i was so happy then. (:

no. it’s not that i still dwell on the past or whatsoever.
i mean, not exactly that way.
just that the song you know.. makes me think of you and miss you.

it’s funny how i feel like smiling thinking of the happy moments yet the heart feel so erm… heavy.

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… quite a lot.
just a thought though.
fret not. (:

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Posted in ♥, deep-thoughts *hmm*, mylife *meh*

Dec 09

Hello there. How are you guys doing? (:
My words feel as though I have not blog for ages. :\

I’m no longer working. Not sure if it’s a good thing or the other way round.
Stop working equals to stop money from coming in which is not a very good thing for me.

However, I decided not to work and just wait for my classes to start.
Not exactly sit and wait like a retard. I gave it some thought and realise, hey maybe it’s time for me to focus on my itsy bitsy mini business.
Since I kind of neglect it due to my work because obviously, I don’t have much spare time from the job.

I’m working on my stuff already but you know, it takes time and patience.
Which is why I still haven’t really get anything new yet.

Other than the job and whatnot, life is pretty okay so far.
I’m so bless that I get my ptptn because I fail one subject and I thought I’m gonna be so dead because they will freeze my money.
Terima kasih banyak-banyak ptptn, aku sangat terharu wtf.

I did not told my mom about me failing cause she don’t really care.
I settle everything by myself, I think she don’t even know exactly what course am I studying. what-the-hell.
But I did told her a few days ago and she just stare at me, haha.
And then I start with all the crap, ‘what??? this is my first time failing in college since i went in’.
Not entirely crap because this is really my first time. T_______T fml

I miss going to classes. I miss my college mates and all the lunch session. ):
But I’ll go back very soon.
It’s December already and there’s lotsa parties to attend this month. :*D
I’m gonna enjoy this December while anticipating new year.

I better get going. I’m catching Storm Warriors 2 special screening.
Yes, free movie again. Though I dislike this kind of movie genre but its freeeeeee. (:

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* Dear hair, if possible please grow faster.

Okay, I really gotta go or else I’ll be late.
Byee. (:

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Posted in camwhore *hee*, ramblings *blabla*

Dec 07

Our torch light moment

My dear colleagues!!
Sigh, I miss them and miss our working moments. and the freebies moments too, wtf. :3
Three of us went for a movie, Planet 51. It’s free by the way.

Wanted to bring them to eat Pan Mee but the shop didn’t open. So we just head to MidValley’s Canton-I since we’re watching our movie there.
Canton-I is goooood but pricey, hur hur.

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* Anna and I. I wonder if there’s still any chance for us to work together. ):

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* Then we head over to Carl’s Junior for the fries. Yums!

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* That’s Jayson, our BMW driver.

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* HAHA! I think the flash went off, hence his expression.

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* Hah! They’re cute. :3

After the movie we head over to Langat Hill cause Jayson has never been there.
Ee and Weng Kee join us as well.

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* I took Jayson’s glasses. :3 :3

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* I secretly put the mini umbrella above Anna’s head and Weng Kee secretly put his finger on my head. -__-’

Ahh, the cool part. :*D
Torch light! Torch light! :*D

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* testing shot.

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* It took me so many times to write my name perfectly.

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* Aha! I like this. so cute ((:

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* Haha, this is funny.

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* Muscular Weng Kee.

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* Jayson in his bikini. :*D

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* see no evil. speak no evil .hear no evil . no no evil, don’t come. :]

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* devil me and angel anna . ♥ this. (:

We should definitely do this again, at some really dark place. (:
Pictures are all from Jayson’s camera.
I miss you guys!!!! We should do food outing!
More pictures at facebook please. (:

4
comments

Posted in :), :3, outings *ngehe*, pictars *chikchak*

Dec 03

CCOC Opening Ceremony

CCOC is our new name for Cheras Clan but I still prefer calling our group as Cheras Clan.
So last Saturday is our so call opening ceremony and we went to Telok Gong for seafood. It’s rather cheap but taste wise, not that great.

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* This is our president, wtf. hahahahahaah

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* Ken trying to camwhore with us girls.

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* The only four active girls in Cheras Clan.

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* The crazy guys, don’t know what they are trying to do.

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* -___- trying to knock the glass?

After our dinner we went back to Ken’s house for second round. A very crazy second round.
You’ll know what I mean towards the end of this post.

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* Spot Audrey Hepburn :3

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* Thoo Lee Kuan ffk me, didn’t go singK with me. pfft.

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* Kee Pok always always showing his thumb, haha.

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* Wah should lean more forward, ishh.

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* The reason why I said it’s a crazy second round is because the game that we are forced to play by the president.

The game goes like this. There are 7 cups on the table and each of us are require to pick a card. The one with the largest card have to pick another card from another set of cards that contains 1 to 7.
Let’s say I get the largest card and I pick another card which is number 3.
If the third card is empty, I can fill it up with anything that is on the table. If someone filled up the cup before this, I have to down the whole cup and then fill it up again.

You’ve got no idea what these guys put into those cups.
tom yam sauce, wasabi, tomato sauce, alicafe, kacip fatimah, and whatever that is on the table. wtf.
I get so tension when playing this game. Damn.

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* The losers who drank those really ewww stuff. And that’s Ali cafe’s sign. LOL.

Take a look at this video and you’ll know how bad it is.

0
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Posted in :D, :X, camwhore *hee*, gatherings *wuhoo*, pictars *chikchak*, video *woaah*

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