haven’t cry this much in a day for quite sometime.
no one broke my heart.

no one but situation.
i just couldn’t stop my tears from flowing after watching the video footage on how our mother nature decides to sweep japan just like that.
how these people just lost their life like that without any warning, not a single way to escape.
how devastated will others be to find out their loved ones perished.
lost their homes. and everything else.
i feel truly sorry and upset though i never really like japan because of what they did to the innocent people during war but i don’t think any human being deserve any of these disaster.
everyone is praying for japan and the world, but how much of praying can really stop the tsunami?
no one can tell.

and i don’t know what i can do to help. i can only sit in my comfort zone and watch those heart wrenching videos.
it hurts to know how people in japan are struggling now and how i am sitting in my home so comfortably.
i cant help but to ponder will 2012 ever come true. it scares me so much, i cried like a freak.
it just hurts so bad to think of it, everyone in the world will be dead, every corner of the world will be left with nothing but dusts and dead bodies.
my family and my friends will all be gone and dead, including myself.
i don’t know what to do.

i don’t wanna demand for anything right now. i’m glad with what i have. i just want my family and friends to be safe and sound and also everyone else in the world to be safe and sound.
stop the wars and thefts and rapes and everything else that we human being ourselves can control.
natural disaster is bad enough for us, we really do not need this.

what can we all do for the world?
tell me if praying helps.
i hope those who perished will rest in peace and everyone else who are affected will stay strong.
please stay strong.

*
i should be happy today as another week just passed but i’m not at all. i feel so affected by this.
and i also cried thinking that i’m leaving mom and home for so long. i already miss her and home and brother.
cannot imagine myself going abroad for studies.
at times like this i realise, nothing beats my family and how much i love them.

have my feelings ever ever cross your mind?
not even a single time?

this ain’t the first time.
why are you always telling stuff that you shouldn’t tell?
worse still, always to the wrong people.

was your intention to make fun of me?
if yes, congrats then. you succeed.
i feel humiliated.

for all that you’ve done, there’s only one thing i could feel.
you hate me.
you probably like it a lot if i get upset because of you.
you’ve been trying to upset me non stop.

if you really hate me that much, just leave.
that’s the only thing i can say.