Category: emo-emo *hurhur*

Sep 01

don’t leave

i’m gonna be real lonely .
everyone is like leaving me. or more like, everyone dear to me is leaving me. ):
some already left. )’:

my brother is leaving me too, oh no!
few more hours and thats it.
he’s leaving to malacca to pursue his studies .a pilot wannabe.
only left mom and maid at home with me. ):

no more mamak session with the brother.
no more watching movie at home with the brother.
no one to talk to at home.
so emo can. ):

to all the dearest, please stop leaving me behind. ):
no more males at home.
brother not here, dog also gone. sad case.

bro

sigh little brother,
i wish you all the best and be a successful pilot in the future.
i guess dad is gonna be really proud of you .

didn’t know i’ll be this emo about brother leaving me behind.
very very the emo. ):


*can’t stop listening to this song. come home, how i wish.

brotheeeeeeer! ):

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Posted in :'(, emo-emo *hurhur*

Aug 29

Come September

“No one ever said that life would be fair, or that the moments you wanted to last forever would. As you start to realize, people who once said that they cared can stop in an instant and those people who once made you the happiest, are now the ones who make you cry. You realize that no matter how much you care about someone, it doesn’t mean they will care about you. Letting go of something isn’t hard, it’s what you leave behind that’s the hard part. You realize that kisses don’t always mean something and promises can be broken, just as quickly as they are made.”

DSC05180copy1

so long .
the feeling is back.
the feeling of pain.
it’s been awhile since i felt this way .
it has too been awhile since i cried this hard.

i somehow knew it from the beginning but i tried to make it as an exception .
i’m not quite ready for it and it breaks my heart.
memories. <3

but i’m a big girl now, i’ll deal with it. (:
two weeks . and i’ll be fine after that.
hopefully.

i cant wait for September to come . (:

2
comments

Posted in deep-thoughts *hmm*, emo-emo *hurhur*

Jul 22

yes, I’ve been here before.
that same old feeling.

after everything, its still the same.
i’m still the same old me.. .
or i’m worse than the old me now..

curiosity killed the cat.
i just killed myself.

i’m lonely. i miss you. ..

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comments

Posted in :'(, emo-emo *hurhur*

Jul 21

A Conversation with Myself

me: oh hie there!

me: er… hie…

me: how are you feeling?

me: shitty!

me: do you think you’ll get crazy someday because you get upset over small issues or worst still, over nothing at all?

me: mm hmm.. *nods head* how?

me: ask yourself how.

me: that’s why i’m asking you how!

me: right! why do you get upset over little issues?

me: because i care? yes, i do care.

me: then why aren’t you telling people or to whom it may concern that you’re feeling upset over those issues?

me: because i dare not. i’m afraid you see..

me: afraid? of what?

me: afraid of shit happening? because when i keep silent, shit wont happen.

me: this isn’t you right?

me: the new me perhaps.

me: new you? since when?

me: hah! i don’t even know since when man. shocked you? because it shocked me somehow..

me: oh boy, yes it really shocked me.

me: changed without myself even realising.

me: from what to what?

me: from someone who must explain herself and letting people know her feelings/thoughts to someone who keep quiet even when stuff upset her. .. to someone who just follow, go along with it and say okay okay even when its not okay.

me: why?

me: i’m afraid, thats why.

me: afraid again?? of what?? gosh..

me: of everything. every single thing! afraid of history repeating itself, afraid of hearing any harsh words from people i love or whatsoever.

me: wow! vulnerable.

me: yeah.. one minute i laugh, the other minute i feel like shit.. then i laugh again.. its k-r-a-z-y!

me: do you need a psychologist?

me: wtf?! no!!

me: sure?

me: hmm… perhaps i do..

________________________________

如果我不是我 其实会怎么样?
有沒有人要做周碧琪?
我真的很累!

don’t worry! i’m still sane afterall.. .
hur hur, it took almost one hour for me to write these chinese words..
but i’m proud cause i can build sentences.. *flips hair* wtf!!

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Posted in :(, :\, deep-thoughts *hmm*, emo-emo *hurhur*, ramblings *blabla*

Jul 17

Hating the fact…

Tell me.
The problem lies in me, isn’t it?
It is always me.
I thought it wasn’t me, but it’s me.
Again and again.

From nothing into something.
Even the slightest thing can affect me so much.
What actually made me into who I am today?

No, wait. I know what changes me, I know.
Just that I didn’t realise the impact was this big.
In the end, it is my problem.
I hate the fact that I’m always the problem maker.
I hate the fact that I’m always being so paranoid.
I hate the fact that I am me.

I can’t change the situation, all I can do is change my thinking.
Or change myself.

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Posted in :(, deep-thoughts *hmm*, emo-emo *hurhur*, mylife *meh*

Jun 30

He’s leaving….

dsc03925copy
* Haiyu, I look like shit. @.@

I’m gonna miss my boy. ):
Few more hours to go and he’ll be off to Switzerland. ):
Argh, super hate this. Going through the same thing again and again. ):
Sigh….. emo emo…

P/S: Bii, I hope you’ll have a safe flight. I’ll wait for you to come back, hopefully December. I miss you already. ):
♥ u

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Posted in :'(, ♥, emo-emo *hurhur*, pictars *chikchak*

May 11

):

I feel the need to clarify things but I cant do it out loud.
Damn, I screw up the whole thing.
Super fuck up now.

No no, it’s not like what you think it is. Really, it isn’t.
I’m stupid enough to never realise that things will turn out this way.
Please, its nothing like that. Argh!!!

I’m sorry and I regret like shit now.
Don’t stop it. No, not now….. ):

Edited:
Yes, I’ve done wrong and I want to fix it.
I will fix the situation every way possible and not sit at one corner whining about it.
Even if I lose, I want to lose knowing that I’ve given my best shot and there is nothing to regret for. Its fated.
I will not even let the slightest chance slip away.

Thank you Lew Nam Hon. (:

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Posted in :(, emo-emo *hurhur*

Feb 04

A Little Emo

Very very exhausted.
Mind and body.

At times I know what I’m doing is wrong but I cant help myself.
I don’t feel happy 24/7, although I’m not that emo anymore, but I still tend to get upset.
When I’m upset, I’ll tend to put other people down so that I can feel better, especially people I dislike.
I really don’t like things being this way and I don’t like myself being this way.
I really don’t want myself to be such a bad person, I really don’t.
I feel unhappy and a little lost at the moment.

What can I do or what shall I do?
I know, its the past. Let it be, but I’m upset.
Very very upset. : (
All these shits that happen to me, really make me crumble.
You, him, another him, her, her, her, her, and they.

I’m a little emo these two days because of the dream I dreamed of few days ago. Today I dream of you and I miss you so darn much, and the next day I dream of him.
Sigh, I need my friends to be here for me at this moment. : (

I’ll try to cheer up.
Anyway, I’m a good girl today. : )
I force myself to wake up this morning and go for my four hour class, without my friends. They skipped class. *_*
I’ve got two assignments due next week, oh my god.
I hope I can go party with friends this week, me not happy.
Faster finish up my assignments and go play after that. : )

Its getting late, nights.

2
comments

Posted in :'(, deep-thoughts *hmm*, emo-emo *hurhur*

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