Like omg seriously, why is MNG always like that one?
Why is their baju all in big sizes one? Why is is that they state it is xs and size 1 or 2 but it is still so lose on me? I wear a size 6 or 8 for Topshop’s clothing but how come a size 1 or 2 for MNG is lose on me?
I know there is big size people, but then there is also petite people in the world.
Sigh, I wanna buy that skirt but its effing lose on me.

That is why I always prefer Topshop or Miss Selfridge because the cutting is so much nicer than MNG’s.
I shall start to dislike MNG from now. Pfft.

*Sheepish smile* hehehehehe…

Finally I get to cut my hair and colour it. =”D
Actually I wanna grow my hair long but then most of my friends say I look better in short hair. What say you? Its short short now but I’m loving it. : )

Hows the colour? Nice or not?

See, so sad one. I have to take my brother’s watch to wear. :”(

Say hi to Mr.Bean the brown bear who come all the way from England and has been living in the Chow’s family for like more than 10 years if I’m not wrong. Why name him Mr.Bean? Because my brother thinks that he looks like Mr.Bean’s teddy bear. Haha.. And btw, this is his bear. Lol.

So hows my hair?

Omfg!!!!!!!
Wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m so fucking piss off I wanna chop people’s head off.
What a nice way to start my friday, wtf.
Some fucking idiot broke my Levis watch and I don’t know who is that fucking idiot.
I woke up and the next thing I saw is my broke-into-half-watch.
My maid said she did not broke it. My mom say she did not broke it. My brother say she did not broke it. My aunt say she did not broke it. Who the fuck broke it then? My dad broke it ah? Wtf!!!

*My heart broke into half, my watch also follow me and broke into half. Wtf!

Wtf wtf wtf…
Now my maid tell me that it is my bloody retarded cousin who spoil my watch. Wtf man…
I no longer can stay under the same roof with this super retarded cousin.
My mom asked me to keep everything valuable with me because this retarded fella crazy.
My aunt say his retarded son wanna revenge wtf.
Revenge shit ah? I haven’t revenge he revenge. Since he stay in my house, we never have a peaceful day. Before this he stole Rm500 from my Atm and now broke my watch. WTF!!!
Well fine, I’m gonna claim back from my aunt. This stupid fella is so crazy my mom asked us not to disturb him and wait till end of the year for him to shift. I’m so annoyed. I’m gonna curse him forever and ever and ever!!! You will not know how I feel because I don’t think you have met such a retarded person in your life. Should send him to Tanjung Rambutan wtf.

P.S: I was so stunt this morning when I saw the watch and thinking although I say I end it for real this time but doesn’t mean have to spoil the watch he buys for me right? I’m seriously so sad and angry because I like that watch so much. :”( I AM VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER ANGRY!!! Sigh, I hope my watch can be fix.

Hi people.. :”D (waving frantically wtf)
It seems like I’ve been emo-ing for such a long time that I’m starting to feel tired now. Real tired.
Well, after the past two days of some stupid quarreling or debating or whatever shit it is, I am finally awake. (Clap your hands everyone!)
Things that you said to me is really like a big slap in my face.
Not that I agree on all the shits you say about me, but it is those shits you say that really wake me up.
From every single word you said, there is only one truth.
The truth is that you never try to understand my words, my feelings, and most importantly you never try to understand me. Maybe you can say that it is not the truth but at least to me, you are that way.
To you, I am always on the guilty side. I am always the one to blame. Doesn’t matter if the problem is between you and me, or between your close friend and me, or even between your normal friends and me, I am still the one to blame. Even though others are wrong, even though you are wrong but I am still the one to be blame. I’ve always try so hard to explain to you that I am not the way you think I am but I fail to do that. I fail miserably.
But today, it no longer matters to me. Its ok if you wanna put the blame on me. Its ok if you think I am like this. Its ok for you to think that others and you are all right but not me. Because I realise that what you think is what you think. I am 100% fine now if you think that way. No point for me to explain to someone who points at me and say that I am wrong in the first place.
I seriously let go after that conversation. I finally realise that you really don’t worth my tears. I finally see the real you. I no longer wanna lie to myself. Now I know we are better off this way. Now I see that we have no future from the start. I no longer wanna say you are the one for me, really, because I can feel it. Yeah, total bullshit that is. Seriously, to come to think of it, you really are not the one for me. There are so many things you fail to do but I do not want to mention. If you find your love one, I congrats you from the bottom of my heart and I will wish the girl good luck.
I’ve never feel this relieve. I do not want to cry for you ever again because I can see how not worth it is. I swear this will be put to an end and I hope I really can do it.

Are you people happy for me? (Please say yes even you are not, haha)
Emo things aside, whats next?
Omfg, I fail my subject for the first time ever. :”(
Sad right? And the stupid UCSI decided to raise up the stupid fees for resiting the exam from Rm100 to Rm200. Wtf la, awal tak naik harga, orang fail baru dia naik. Curse UCSI wtf.
But who call me so lazy, everyday masuk class to sleep only. My friend even snap photos while I’m sleeping in class and post it in facebook. Why la my friend like that?
Seriously, I don’t think I can survive if I continue sleeping in class (which is actually the first time only lo..) I no longer wanna be a lazy bum. I need to stop fooling around and really start to put some effort in my studies. I hope I can do that. Encourage me a little bit lah people.

Ok, sad things aside, whats next?
But this one sad thing also. I damn a lot of sad thing one, why ah?
I was suppose to take 2 subjects for this semester but unfortunately I can only take one.
Why? Why? Why?
Because the big spender here spend a lot of money and now not enough money to pay for 2 subjects wtf. Who wanna sponsor me?
I told my mom and ask her can pay for me first or not, then I’ll pay her back by January after PTPTN bank in for me. She say ‘talk money no need to talk’.. -.-
Since she said that, I have no other choice. The next day she said this to me, ‘If you don’t know how to take care of your own finance, you will not be success in your life’. Yes, my bad, my bad.
I’ve been thinking of what she told me for days now and I know what she say is so true.
So, what am I going to do? Sigh, I have to control myself and not use so much money. And and and I am going to work. I seriously need to work already if not sure bankruptcy. I will be more hardworking, study hard and work hard to earn my marks and money. I hope I have high endurance.

Alright, I’m done with all the emo, sad, and suffering stuff. :”D
I wanna cut short my hair. I’ve actually cut my hair before this but now I think its not short enough. Find one day I am going to cut it short and colour it. I’m bored with the black colour hair and also I’ve got this Snips offer where I can get Rm80 off if I do colouring. Good offer right? :”D
I wanted to write a long post but I’m sleepy now. There is a lot of things I want to have. Maybe I’ll just put it into another post some other time.

Faster say you are happy for me. :”D
I am happy for myself.

Omg, I’m having high fever.. :”(
39 Celsius omg..
I’ve ate like 2 Panadols but the fever is still there.
Now I have to wake up in the middle of the night to have Milo just to fill in my stomach.
People who are having fever are not even suppose to drink Milo. :”(
My body has been shivering since this afternoon, halfway through shopping with mom.. -.-
My body is like so hot. :”(

Yay!!!
I finish my one and only paper today.
Mega relieve.
Lucky I did use some time to study or else I’ll be dead.
Its not as hard as I thought but I’m still not sure if I can pass it. My internal marks are quite low. :”(
There’s two international students sitting beside me exchanging answers while the exam is on.
Keep talking and talking, damn distracting.

The very ‘good’ me who cannot tahan anymore go and tell the lecturer when I hand in my paper. Not sure what happen to them later on. Hahaha..

There’s three things on my mind recently.
The first is daddy. Suddenly I miss him a lot. He appears in my mind a lot lately, not sure if the cause is me being moody. I wish I can dream of him at night and he will tell me things will turn out fine.

The second is the usual thing that bothers me. That someone is on my mind almost everyday.
I know what I’ve been thinking is impossible but I just cant stop thinking. By thinking, that is the only time where I can imagine the impossible.

Comes to the third, which is a happy one. :”)
I’m thinking how to furnish my new room. Not that I get the room now, but its only few months away.
By end of the year, I’ll have my own room. I’ve been thinking so so much on the new room. Damn excited loh..

Very very stress.
My final paper is on the 14th and I seriously know nothing about it.
Not that I don’t want to study, I did try.
But I just don’t understand what am I reading and I can’t seem to concentrate.
A lot of silly silly stuff is bothering me.
I hope I can stop myself from thinking not so important things first and bloody concentrate on my paper.
Stress stress stress…

Have a safe flight back to New Zealand.
Do not forget you still owe me Lecka Lecka.
I will get my Lecka from you after 3 months, ngek ngek.
All the best in all your tests and flights.
Good Luck. *winks*
Bye bye again lu…

…here I come!!!

I’m going to Malacca, I’m going to Malacca, I’m going to Malacca!!!
:”D

Wow, it seems as though its been quite a long time I didn’t really put down my thoughts in my blog.
I use to always tell out whatever feelings I have in here, especially when I’m sad.
I didn’t talk bout my feelings for quite some time, does that mean I’m not sad? I don’t really know.
I’ve been thinking of typing my feelings, but these days, I don’t know what stop me from doing it.
Today, my friend just told me that I’m so lazy to blog, only dump in pictures. Haha..
I admit I’m kinda lazy to blog these days, just pictures and that’s it.

This two weeks is just so unpredictable.
I know the truth quite well, but I just don’t wanna accept it.
I don’t wanna accept the fact that it is actually zero. ZERO!
I asked again and again, wishing that the answer is different.
Why do I still want to lie to myself at this very moment? Sometimes, being a optimistic person is not that good after all. Good things always don’t come my way. I don’t know.

However, after waking up this morning, I start to put some sense into myself.
I wake up and I feel nothing. I asked myself why don’t I feel sad when last night I keep crying.
I can’t find the answer till my friend told me that is because I already let go apart of it without myself realising it. My heart still hurts when I think about it. I constantly blame myself over this.

I wish I can turn back time. I guess everybody wish. I have to keep reminding myself, whats done is done. All I can do is learn from my mistake. But hell, the price for this mistake is just so big, I almost couldn’t afford it. Compare to before, I am much better although not fully recover. I think I’ll be alright after few more months. I’ve let go apart of it, I just have to work harder and let go the other half.

I wanna smile like this every time and be happy. I wish I could.