yoohoo people!
sorry for the delay, i’m as lazy as ever. hah!

semester is officially over now. ngehehe!
been slacking at home these 2 days.

but now i’m going to redang!! yoohoo!
this is really super last minute.
like we decide at 10pm, and i’m leaving at 2 midnight later.
actually i really didn’t plan to go, cause i’m short of cash.

but my kawan-kawan baik keep persuading me.
keep asking me to go, like damn spontaneous. :\
i’ll definitely enjoy the trip. (:

do you guys miss me? bwaha!

* in case you miss me. tak tau malukan, i know. lol

alrighty, i gotta go.
enjoy your day peeps. (:
with love.

i am mentally tired.
i seriously need to take a break before i jump of from any building.

i feel so vulnerable these days.
it’s always like that when i took my shield off.
people these days are so fuck up, they try their best to make you unhappy.
it’s like a joke to them or something.

by the way, i have phobia doing my assignment now.
i need to hand in my assignment to the same lecturer who fail me couple of semesters ago.
he fail my assignment, and now i’m afraid.
sigh, i feel so stone right now.

please will someone bring me to a place where there’s full of nice music so i can stop thinking for a couple of hours.
back to assignment now. bye

haha! this is so cute.
it made me smile. (:

2 days more for my final exam.
exactly a week more for my holiday to start. yay!

i’ve got so many pictures to resize and upload.
plus i promised my friend on some stuff and i’ve been dragging it since forever.
waiting for my bloody semester to end.

cant wait. heh.
i’ll bombard this blog with pictures sooooon.
till then. (:

shit. i cant fall asleep!
and i’ve got presentation at 8 tomorrow.
the same thing happened last week, cant fall asleep a day before presentation.

stupid me. shouldn’t have drank coffee at oldtown just now. :\
i look so terrible these days, pretty much like a zombie.
i hate it when i roll on my bed for hours, it gets so annoying seriously.

anyway, i’m here just to rant.
what to do? i couldn’t fall asleep.
i appear to be really emotional these days.

stress from deadlines.
stress from friendships.
and maybe something more than friendships.

i’ve been like this since years ago.
i care about a lot of things. i care a lot.
and when friends i care about is unhappy cause of me, i get really unhappy too.
it affects me, a whole lot.
i’m overly sensitive. which is why i always seem to be unhappy.

things are slightly out of control now.
but you know, i don’t wanna appear to be emotional.
i’ll control myself. i care, i still do.
but if both are equally upset, it wont help either.

i’ll just try my best not to be affected, i guess that’s all i can really do.
i’ll control whatever i can.

to be frank i’ve becoming less emotional, except recently. :\
and nowadays i can always pick myself up again after a good cry. after one or two hours.
cry doesn’t mean i’m not okay. cry doesn’t mean i’m weak.
i cry but i’m still fine. (:

my finals are coming.
i hope i can keep it under control, at least for the time being.
till my sem ends.

what a day man!
woke up at 10 today. group discussion at 11 plus until 7.
went home, eat my dinner and continue on my assignment till now.
its 12.30 midnight!!!

i feel like dying. U__U
i still need to send another assignment’s draft to my friend but my brain is shutting down anytime soon.
omgbbq @#&&*^#(@&#*)*#Q&(&()@*&!@!

okay! done with my ranting. i need to sleep!!!
plus, today’s an emo day. fts(fuck this shit) LOL!
nights.

no no. i am NOT abandoning my blog.
well actually i plan to take a short hiatus but i’m afraid no one will ever visit my blog again. :\
so here i am, trying to fill my blog with craps again.

i will only be absolutely free after 16th April.
one more freaking month.
tons of work but not as stress as all the previous semesters.
because i did not procrastinate and all my work is on track. (:

took a break yesterday.
went to the mall during noon, movie at night and straight to skybar after that.
i’ve been wanting to watch Alice in the Wonderland but tickets are all sold out. gahh!
so second option, Up in the air.

the movie is really good.
something different. something unexpected.
it puts me into thinking.

i’m a lot like one of the character in the movie, natalie.
if you have yet to watch this movie, whatever you read after this line might be a spoiler. :X
so, there’s a scene where natalie’s bf dumped her through text message.
she’s upset bla bla.. then she said something like this..
‘when i was 16.. i plan to get marry when i’m 23. i should be engage by now.’

i stone for a moment. look at ee cheeng who sits beside me. she looks at me.
and we both laugh!
indeed when i was 16, i plan to get marry when i’m 23. i wanted to get marry when i’m 23. and now that i’m 22, i should be engage soon. HAHA!
and then have kids. and be a housewife. wait for the husband to get home, prepare him dinner and what not. natalie said something like that too.

maybe. just maybe this could happen if it goes according to what i plan. if there’s no breakup in between.
but i grow up, this is totally out of my plan now. hah.

and the way natalie asked george clooney, how marriage never cross his mind and all sorts of this kinda question..
i’m exactly like that too. because i once asked this kind of stuff. with a strong expression, haha.

this movie is worth watching. but not all likes it though, some find it boring.
as for me, i feel like watching it again. and pay more attention to the content and script.
good movie. (:

it’s been awhile since i last camwhoree!! hah! camera berkarat soon. :’D

this week started off as a hell for me.
as i said earlier, holiday turned me into a rather lazy girl.

a lazy girl bombarded with plenty of assignments equals to *^$@&#*#&@^&@ *dut dut dut* !!
but my hardworking spirit *cheh* came back after a day.
its not that bad after all and now I’m so use to it.

waking up so early almost everyday.
discussions for hours and hours till evening.
nap for only an hour.
and go to bed earlier than usual.
sangat ber-routine, hah!

***
my lecturer asked us a question in the class the other day.
‘who had been in love before?’
some of the students raised up their hands. i did not.
i cant tell you why i did not raise up my hand, cause i myself do not know why either.

she asked for the second time.
‘who had been in love before?’
and more students response by raising up their hands this time, including myself.

she then asked another question.
‘whose heart had been broken before?’
i looked at her. i took a glimpse at those around me.
once again students raise up their hands.
i then raised up mine slowly, feeling rather stone because i wasn’t expecting my lecturer asking all these kind of questions in the class.

then she told us.
‘those who had their heart broken are those who love passionately.’

she once interviewed a drug addict.
she described this drug addict with a word.
skinny.
almost fleshless, what’s left is only bones wrapped by his skin.

then she told us how this drug addict inject himself.
i’ve got no idea how he did it but what she said was, he leaned on the wall, pushed himself into the needle, poking through his feet.
not on any part of his body but his feet.

heart-wrenching.
i know if i’m there to witness this scene, i’ll cry.

she asked him, what is the reason he did drugs.
and he answered, the girl he love left him.

my heart literally stopped for a moment.
‘those who had their heart broken, if they are painter they no longer paint, if they are writer they no longer write.’

this story just hit me somewhere. somehow.
i feel really sad for him.

love. can be the best thing yet the worst.
seems like. it can lift you up to heaven yet it can push you down to hell.

so beautiful .yet so ugly.

it’s gonna be a very hectic week i suppose.
lots of group discussion and assignments for me to figure out.
i guess i had too much fun from this year’s chinese new year, all these assignments somehow disappeared from my mind.
and now that the due dates are near, the stress is back. :\

don’t think i’ll have the time to update this blog in the following week and in case i really don’t, please don’t miss me. HAHA!
i’ll try to, lots of pictures i have yet to post.
holiday’s a bitch, they always somehow turn me into a very lazy person.

anyway, i’ll still update my plurk though.
i cant stand not voicing out whatever that’s in my mind.
about the don’t miss me, i’m just joking.

please miss me. (: