Dear young Peggy,
I am the 30 years old version of yourself and I am writing this letter to you while sitting at your future cafe (gasp!). As I look out the window, guess what I saw? A rainbow!
Feels like the universe is trying to tell me something. I know if you were to open this letter and read it, you wouldn’t believe most part of it because you are stubborn, believing that you know better but regardless, here’s a few pieces of advice for you.
At the very least what I can tell you is that life didn’t gnaw away your soul slowly, you still pretty much get excited over things so simple.
First and foremost, girl you need to CALM DOWN and take things slow. Train your patience, that’s what I am telling you.
You have all the time and youth in the world, don’t rush into things not worth rushing in to. Take your time to decide the future path you want to walk on. Instead of choosing the easiest or safest route, just go all out and pick the route that you really desire even if it is a route less traveled. I know that you fear failure the most because you are so hard on yourself but as cliche as this may sound, failure really is the road to success.
Fail while you’re still young, fall, get scratches but get back up. You can be right when you’re old but right this moment, be young, be you, be free and even be wrong.
So go explore options and explore the world.
In your life dictionary, fairness is something you really care too much about but I hope you understand sooner rather than later that life is fair to everyone because it is unfair to everyone.
Everyone has a path that they are destine to go through and comparing yourself or your life with others, questioning why is it so unfair to you wont benefit you in any sense.
If comparing you must, compare yourself with the you yesterday. Are you better than the you a year ago?
You care too much about what people say about you but you really don’t have to because what people say about you says more about them than yourself. Why take in the unnecessary negativity when you can divert your energy to bettering yourself.
If they don’t pay your bills or feed you full, what they say do not matter.
As hard as this might sound to you, be a drama free girl my dear otherwise you will go through a lot of heartbreak on top of HEARTBREAKS.
Everything has it’s own time frame, it’s own expiry date so you need to learn to let go when the time comes. I know it will be so hard for you, and cry if you must but don’t dwell on it for too long. New things wont be able to come into your life if you don’t make space by leaving old baggage behind. In your context, if a relationship doesn’t last till the end of time, until one of you passes it means that the love you once had wasn’t true and that you have fail once again in this thing call love. But slowly you will learn that all the love you once had, even if it didn’t last forever are true at one point of your life. As human, we never stop growing and evolving so it makes perfect sense that in different stages of our life we will find a different ‘the one’. We can only hope that when we finally are mature enough, we could meet the final ‘the one’ whom will walk with us till the end of time.Â You love a little too hard but it doesn’t mean you know how to love rightly. You give all that you can give and that’s where you go wrong, you almost even give up your identity. You slowly lose your sense of self and your relationship defines you. This is by no means the right way to love, you gotta learn.
You also often doubt yourself so much that it becomes self sabotaging which are build ups from the negativity and disapproval around you while you were growing up but I hope you know that it really doesn’t define who you really are. At the end of the day, we came to this world alone and will leave this world alone so if you don’t start by loving yourself, no one will. You never knew what self love is, only self harm and I hope you find a way to let it all go because even when it is not at the back of your head it is actually buried deep down inside your heart and you need to find a way to get rid of it. Face your demon, make peace with it and let it go. It may stay dormant deep inside the cave but like a volcano, you don’t really know when it will erupt.
At the end of the day, just know that you are strong enough to go through it all. Go through the pain and you will grow through the hardship. Don’t give up on yourself and don’t give up on love. Before I end this letter, one last important message to you is that please learn how to forgive. Learn how to forgive people who hurt you in the past and learn how to forgive yourself for all the ‘wrong’ choices you made. Forgive the ones you love(d), forgive the ones you hate(d), forgive yourself, and forgive Universe for all the pain and life will definitely get better from then on.
Know that at the very least, I will always have your back and be there for you no matter what. Signing out now…