Happy Mid-Autumn Festival everyone.
I do look forward to Mid-Autumn Festival every year, but not because of the mooncakes because I don’t really like to eat them, but its because of the candles and lanterns.
I like how I can play with candles with my love ones and friends.
Every year I get so excited when it comes to Mid-Autumn Festival, especially the past 4 years.
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Like omg seriously, why is MNG always like that one?
Why is their baju all in big sizes one? Why is is that they state it is xs and size 1 or 2 but it is still so lose on me? I wear a size 6 or 8 for Topshop’s clothing but how come a size 1 or 2 for MNG is lose on me?
I know there is big size people, but then there is also petite people in the world.
Sigh, I wanna buy that skirt but its effing lose on me.

That is why I always prefer Topshop or Miss Selfridge because the cutting is so much nicer than MNG’s.
I shall start to dislike MNG from now. Pfft.

*Sheepish smile* hehehehehe…

Finally I get to cut my hair and colour it. =”D
Actually I wanna grow my hair long but then most of my friends say I look better in short hair. What say you? Its short short now but I’m loving it. : )

Hows the colour? Nice or not?

See, so sad one. I have to take my brother’s watch to wear. :”(

Say hi to Mr.Bean the brown bear who come all the way from England and has been living in the Chow’s family for like more than 10 years if I’m not wrong. Why name him Mr.Bean? Because my brother thinks that he looks like Mr.Bean’s teddy bear. Haha.. And btw, this is his bear. Lol.

So hows my hair?

Omfg!!!!!!!
Wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m so fucking piss off I wanna chop people’s head off.
What a nice way to start my friday, wtf.
Some fucking idiot broke my Levis watch and I don’t know who is that fucking idiot.
I woke up and the next thing I saw is my broke-into-half-watch.
My maid said she did not broke it. My mom say she did not broke it. My brother say she did not broke it. My aunt say she did not broke it. Who the fuck broke it then? My dad broke it ah? Wtf!!!

*My heart broke into half, my watch also follow me and broke into half. Wtf!

Wtf wtf wtf…
Now my maid tell me that it is my bloody retarded cousin who spoil my watch. Wtf man…
I no longer can stay under the same roof with this super retarded cousin.
My mom asked me to keep everything valuable with me because this retarded fella crazy.
My aunt say his retarded son wanna revenge wtf.
Revenge shit ah? I haven’t revenge he revenge. Since he stay in my house, we never have a peaceful day. Before this he stole Rm500 from my Atm and now broke my watch. WTF!!!
Well fine, I’m gonna claim back from my aunt. This stupid fella is so crazy my mom asked us not to disturb him and wait till end of the year for him to shift. I’m so annoyed. I’m gonna curse him forever and ever and ever!!! You will not know how I feel because I don’t think you have met such a retarded person in your life. Should send him to Tanjung Rambutan wtf.

P.S: I was so stunt this morning when I saw the watch and thinking although I say I end it for real this time but doesn’t mean have to spoil the watch he buys for me right? I’m seriously so sad and angry because I like that watch so much. :”( I AM VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER ANGRY!!! Sigh, I hope my watch can be fix.

Hi people.. :”D (waving frantically wtf)
It seems like I’ve been emo-ing for such a long time that I’m starting to feel tired now. Real tired.
Well, after the past two days of some stupid quarreling or debating or whatever shit it is, I am finally awake. (Clap your hands everyone!)
Things that you said to me is really like a big slap in my face.
Not that I agree on all the shits you say about me, but it is those shits you say that really wake me up.
From every single word you said, there is only one truth.
The truth is that you never try to understand my words, my feelings, and most importantly you never try to understand me. Maybe you can say that it is not the truth but at least to me, you are that way.
To you, I am always on the guilty side. I am always the one to blame. Doesn’t matter if the problem is between you and me, or between your close friend and me, or even between your normal friends and me, I am still the one to blame. Even though others are wrong, even though you are wrong but I am still the one to be blame. I’ve always try so hard to explain to you that I am not the way you think I am but I fail to do that. I fail miserably.
But today, it no longer matters to me. Its ok if you wanna put the blame on me. Its ok if you think I am like this. Its ok for you to think that others and you are all right but not me. Because I realise that what you think is what you think. I am 100% fine now if you think that way. No point for me to explain to someone who points at me and say that I am wrong in the first place.
I seriously let go after that conversation. I finally realise that you really don’t worth my tears. I finally see the real you. I no longer wanna lie to myself. Now I know we are better off this way. Now I see that we have no future from the start. I no longer wanna say you are the one for me, really, because I can feel it. Yeah, total bullshit that is. Seriously, to come to think of it, you really are not the one for me. There are so many things you fail to do but I do not want to mention. If you find your love one, I congrats you from the bottom of my heart and I will wish the girl good luck.
I’ve never feel this relieve. I do not want to cry for you ever again because I can see how not worth it is. I swear this will be put to an end and I hope I really can do it.

Are you people happy for me? (Please say yes even you are not, haha)
Emo things aside, whats next?
Omfg, I fail my subject for the first time ever. :”(
Sad right? And the stupid UCSI decided to raise up the stupid fees for resiting the exam from Rm100 to Rm200. Wtf la, awal tak naik harga, orang fail baru dia naik. Curse UCSI wtf.
But who call me so lazy, everyday masuk class to sleep only. My friend even snap photos while I’m sleeping in class and post it in facebook. Why la my friend like that?
Seriously, I don’t think I can survive if I continue sleeping in class (which is actually the first time only lo..) I no longer wanna be a lazy bum. I need to stop fooling around and really start to put some effort in my studies. I hope I can do that. Encourage me a little bit lah people.

Ok, sad things aside, whats next?
But this one sad thing also. I damn a lot of sad thing one, why ah?
I was suppose to take 2 subjects for this semester but unfortunately I can only take one.
Why? Why? Why?
Because the big spender here spend a lot of money and now not enough money to pay for 2 subjects wtf. Who wanna sponsor me?
I told my mom and ask her can pay for me first or not, then I’ll pay her back by January after PTPTN bank in for me. She say ‘talk money no need to talk’.. -.-
Since she said that, I have no other choice. The next day she said this to me, ‘If you don’t know how to take care of your own finance, you will not be success in your life’. Yes, my bad, my bad.
I’ve been thinking of what she told me for days now and I know what she say is so true.
So, what am I going to do? Sigh, I have to control myself and not use so much money. And and and I am going to work. I seriously need to work already if not sure bankruptcy. I will be more hardworking, study hard and work hard to earn my marks and money. I hope I have high endurance.

Alright, I’m done with all the emo, sad, and suffering stuff. :”D
I wanna cut short my hair. I’ve actually cut my hair before this but now I think its not short enough. Find one day I am going to cut it short and colour it. I’m bored with the black colour hair and also I’ve got this Snips offer where I can get Rm80 off if I do colouring. Good offer right? :”D
I wanted to write a long post but I’m sleepy now. There is a lot of things I want to have. Maybe I’ll just put it into another post some other time.

Faster say you are happy for me. :”D
I am happy for myself.

If you are still here today, then it will be your 50th birthday.
There is so so so much things I wanna say to you, but don’t know how.
Or maybe you already know what I wanna say to you..
I so hope you are by my side, telling me that everything will be alright just like how you say it to me when I’m small.

Happy 50th Birthday and I miss you.

Omg, I’m having high fever.. :”(
39 Celsius omg..
I’ve ate like 2 Panadols but the fever is still there.
Now I have to wake up in the middle of the night to have Milo just to fill in my stomach.
People who are having fever are not even suppose to drink Milo. :”(
My body has been shivering since this afternoon, halfway through shopping with mom.. -.-
My body is like so hot. :”(

How much trust do you actually put on people next to you? What is trust? Why do we have to trust people? The more I trust one person, the more hurt I am. People always break the trust another person have on them. I don’t feel like trusting people anymore. Not even a single person. I now realise its better to be a pessimist than an optimist. I trust people with all my heart and yet they break the trust. Isn’t it better when I be a pessimist and think all things negatively because the fact is the real world is this ugly. There isn’t any shits like love, shits like fate, shits like trust, shits like friends, whatever shits that sound so nice but in fact, they doesn’t really exist.

There is no such thing as ‘If we are meant to be together, nothing will break us apart’. This are all bullshits, dogshits, elephantshits, fucking shits. I don’t think I will ever wanna put a trust on someone anymore. I don’t wanna trust him, I don’t wanna trust friends, I don’t wanna trust lecturers, I don’t wanna trust strangers, I don’t even wanna trust my family members. I wanna trust no one. Its the best not trusting people because in the end, you will not get hurt at all. Why wanna trust people and get hurt in the end? Where is the point?

I’m so fucking tired to trust everything people say, to be so fucking naive and think that the people in this world are actually nice people. There are no nice people, only selfish people. Human is the scariest thing ever. I will never put all my trust on anyone anymore. Its better to be alone because no one can hurt you. The thing one can trust is only money.

Its better to protect myself than to let someone else protect me.
They will turn around and walk away anytime.
Trust money, don’t trust human. Human betrays, money don’t.
Its better to hate than to get hurt.