I hadn’t had any insomnia nights for quite a long time now and unfortunately it gave me a visit tonight.
I experienced headache the entire day before today and while the headache’s gone, I experienced slight discomfort for today.
Must be the wind gushing in my tummy again.

I used to have so many sleepless nights so long ago, it’s scary.
Wanting to sleep but not being able to is one of the saddest thing that could happen to anyone, in my opinion.
There was many a times in my life whereby I was too disturbed by my own feelings to even fall asleep peacefully.

Tonight, thank God it was mainly caused by the discomfort in my tummy.
And also something I am bound to do which I couldn’t stop thinking!

Nothing much has changed recently except for the fact that I don’t see my fats as often anymore nowadays due to work.
It is not entirely a bad thing as long as we can find a balance in between but finding a balance can sometimes be a hard thing for a bull (the fats).

*

When I was so upset about my life years ago, I always scrolled through tumblr to help me passed time a little easier.
That’s when I realized I wasn’t the only one, that there really are people out there who experienced what I was experiencing, who felt the same way I did and wrote exactly what was inside my heart.
At the same time I felt very sad for these strangers too because I know how much it hurts, so hurt that there isn’t a single word that could describe those feelings.

As I scrolled through my tumblr today, it reminded me of how I felt.

‘Dear you,

Thank you for breaking my heart, making me lose hope… I seriously thought that you were the one for me… I was so into you I didn’t look around for anyone else for years. It’s like getting hooked on a TV show for hours, and wanting nothing else…. Thank you for breaking and disappointing me… You taught me so much about life and love. I moved on. It wasnt easy, but I did, finally. It led me to him.

Let me tell you, he’s amazing. I love him so much, and thank you… because you led me to him. You broke me, and I realized that you’re nothing but a fake two faced guy. You’re a nice friend, but I finally realized what I truly deserve. So much love I gave you then but you destroyed them and took me for granted. I am now walking with someone who loves me and knows that I am his everything. And I just want to tell you that you led me to someone who is going to show me the real meaning of love.

Thank you…’

Shit right? How can someone wrote exactly what’s on my mind? It gets creepy sometimes.

I have a very close friend who still couldn’t get over her break up and it hurts me to see her so upset.
Usually, I am the crybaby crying in front of my friends and I really couldn’t be bothered where I was. If I want to cry, I cry.
But then things changed and my friend cried in front of me and man, that is the worst feeling in the world!!
I didn’t know it was that sucky to see your friend cry and I finally felt what my friends felt.

(Sorry Dexter I cried in front of you so many fucking times, haha!)

It gets worse when I tried to calmed her down and tried to made her realise what a jerk that guy was but to no avail.

(Sorry Dexter I didn’t listen to you when you tried to convince me, hahaha!)

I guess it’s karma for crying too much in front of my friends, it’s my turn now. Bah!
I know she wouldn’t believe me, she couldn’t be bothered and her heart still stays the same but I truly truly believe that the best thing will come, just not yet.
I hope she trust me, although I know it’s dead hard.

For those who feel like giving up, don’t.
It will come around. Definitely. :)