Currently listening to – ‘Unwell’ by Matchbox 20

Wanted to blog but I’m kinda blank at the moment.
I’ll just start with some boring stuff first.

Went to dye my hair again just now, for free.
What else? Wanted to go see chinese doctor because I wasn’t feeling very well and I lost my appetite recently. Shoey said that I’m weak and I need to go see Chinese doctor. She said the cause might be me being very sad for such a long time. I was stun when I heard that.
I never realise that. I mean, I never know that being sad and unhappy will lead to sickness. Sigh..

Don’t know why things never seems to end. It looks as though everything is good and nice but somehow, it is not. Even if it is today, it will not be tomorrow.
I always find out things I shouldn’t know. I always find out things that will hurt me.
Its either you people don’t lie to me at all or you people hide it nicely. Don’t hide it but at the same time let me find out about it, can?

I seriously don’t know how to describe my feeling to you. I don’t even know what to react and say when I first know it. Total blank.
I don’t know if what you say is true. I don’t know how true it is.
I don’t dare to believe because sometimes, it just don’t seems like it.
Somehow to me, it is not like what you said. Do you know that I am very afraid?

I no longer wanna ask question. I no longer wanna ask you why.
I’m asking myself why. No one holds the responsibility here.
I don’t think you hold the responsibility, its not your fault anyway.
Its me. Its me who causes the conflict. Its me who is being dumb and being a fool.
Do not assure me and put me as your priority because to me, it just don’t seems like it.
I don’t wanna get disappointed and be unhappy about it. Moreover, its unfair to you.

What is causing all this chaos? I’m super confuse now. I don’t know what I want. I seriously need to think about it. I’m confuse and I’m blank. I don’t even know if what I type make sense. Never mind about it, at least this is whats on my mind right now.

Am I weird? I always feel like going to club whenever I’m not happy. Fuck it, no one cares anyway. I think I’ll just do whatever shit I feel like doing without giving a damn.
I’m stubborn. I am very very stubborn. Argh, I’m really hurt yet numb at the same time.

Anyway, I’m going to Malacca again tomorrow. Not staying overnight, just a day trip. I wanna go party tomorrow night, but I’m not sure if I can. I think mostly I cant make it. : (


Oh by the way, what are you trying to prove to me?
I don’t buy it, you don’t have to try so hard.
It actually wont affect me a single bit, so save that job will ya?
I hope what I heard tonight is true because that is what I want it to be and that is what I wish for all this while.
Sorry, I’m a Scorpio. I am revengeful and I want to see it happen that way.


On a happier note, I received a Coach’s keychain as a present. :’D

* Didn’t expect this coming. Thank you so much, I really like it a lot. <3 Night peeps.

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