To you,

Wow, good job and well done. You are really excellent. The thinking of you and me together just makes me wanna puke. I deny and deny, that you are not like this. But I cant hide it anymore when someone just tell it straight to my face what kind of a person you are.

You are a stranger to me now, I know nothing about you.
But well, truth to be told I’ve never know you anyway. Never.
What kind of a person you really are? The question I always ask myself.
But today, I don’t wanna know because I already know it.

I was shocked at first, I feel like crying. Why would you want to do that to me?
My feeling is none of your concern, right? Do you feel happier this way?
You know you are wrong in some way, do you? Or do you not?
Telling people about what I’ve done wrong so that it makes you seem a little nicer?
So that you are not the wrong one? So that I’m the one who causes all this?

I know, just so that people see you as the pity one and see me as the bitch. Just so that you will feel better when no one puts the blame on you.
People will believe what you say, they will. I prefer to not tell people is not because I don’t want people to know that I am wrong. I hide a lot of things from people just to protect you and me. For us. But I guess this is a rather stupid thinking. I’ve learn that you don’t have to really be a nice and good person to look nice. All you have to do is tell it off to people first, so that they hear your part of story and pity you. Very clever step.

It doesn’t matter anymore whether how these people sees me. Yes, I am wrong. Yes, I’ve done wrong. Yes, I admit and live with it. What about you? You hide everything, you hide what you have done in the past. You don’t even have the guts to stand up and admit your wrong. All you do is deny.
I really have the great eager to tell it off to people just like what you did. Better still, to show off those gross pictures. But on second thought, I don’t wanna be like you.

I know I’m wrong and I want to make the rest of my life right. I don’t wanna continue being wrong. I don’t wanna be like you, doing all the wrong things and hiding it. You know what you have done in the past. You know it very well. I don’t need other people to know it. Its ok if you think what you did isn’t wrong. Its ok if you didn’t realize it and didn’t even try to change. Its ok if everyone thinks that you are right and I’m wrong.

Just make sure you can sleep well along with the guilt every night. Oh, maybe you don’t feel guilty at all.
I know what I am doing and I am aware of it. I really don’t wanna be like you.
After knowing what you’ve did and what you’ve said, I really see the truth.
I do believe in Karma. I’ll just wait and see.

You don’t have to believe me. Other people don’t have to believe me. As long as I believe in my own self, its good enough.
You will no longer be my concern.

P/S: I know what you see me as. I was once your toy, but I no longer will be.
This will be the LAST!

3 Comments

  1. kkjm December 8, 2008

    r u ok or not?


  2. Peggy December 8, 2008

    kkjm: I’m not sure but I guess I am..


  3. kkjm December 9, 2008

    good… stay strong…


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